(FranchisePick.Com) It’s Official. Al-Qaeda is now franchising, at least according to this video from Comedy Central’s The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, broadcast on February 14, 2008.
In the humorous feature, Jon Stewart reports that “documents seized from the terrorist group’s lairs [which] include numerous application forms for potential recruits, with questions like ‘What is your alias’ and … ‘Are you willing to drastically relocate?’” He then asks resident expert John Hodgman for an explanation.
Hodgeman matter-of-factly replies: “Of course they’ve application forms. Annual reports, March Madness pools, secret Santas … well very secret Santas.”
“You have to comprehend,” Hodgman continued. “Al-Qaeda is now a sprawling multi-national organization just like any other They need systems in place to keep up the quality of terrorism we’ve come to expect. You know the motto: ‘With a name like al-Qaeda, it can’t possibly be good.’”
“You’re speaking about al-Qaeda like it’s a brand,” stated Stewart.
“Sure, a brand with franchises,” stated Hodgman. “There’s a corporate umbrella overseeing an affiliation of independent owner-operators committed to their mission of doom. It’s really the Quiznos model.”
Hodgman then intoduced “Hodgman’s 5 Habits of Highly Explosive People” which gave suggestions for the aspiring al-Qaeda recruit.
He emphasized sending a resume that’ll “emphasize the dislikes” and spicing up at the interview about “who are some of your favorite scapegoats — and don’t just state the Jews.”
Dress is also important, because “you never want to walk in there looking like you’ve something to live for,” and finally you should “always send a thank-you note.”
IS AL_QAEDA LIKE QUIZNOS?
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